Seeing the Blessings in the “Now”

I have struggled with contentment. And I would be willing to bet that you have too. Unfortunately, we live in a time where our lives are stacked against each other in a virtual world and it’s pretty hard to escape it. We see the best of other’s lives, and wish that we had that, whatever “that” is. But what if we allowed God to show us the blessings we are living in now? What if we lived with thankful hearts for the bounty he’s so graciously given us? Wouldn’t that just change everything?

The Struggle

It’s no secret that I’ve longed for a farmhouse on rolling acres of land. I imagine my babies running around, enjoying childhood while learning how to care for a handful of farm animals. There is a massive veggie garden, and in another area there’s a medicinal garden. Fruit trees and perennial flowers decorate the edges of land, and we are all perfectly happy, Right?

Our reality is that we live on 1/4 acre in a cul-de-sac. (Which I do truly love.) Our sweet neighbors are nestled so close we could probably see in each other’s windows if we wanted. And there is definitely no room for a fruit tree.

My heart has always been set on staying at home full time with my children. I do enjoy my job as a nurse, but it does not fulfill me like being with my kids does. I want to soak up every ounce of these years with my babies as I am so keenly aware it will be gone before I know it. But, I find myself still working a few days. While this sounds like any mother’s dream to escape for a bit- it is a very grueling/stressful “getaway.” I can get very frazzled in the juggle of motherhood, work, church, dinners, school/homework, balancing friends/family, Bible Study, house chores. (Are you stressing yet too? lol).

There have been many seasons I griped and moaned and even held it against my husband that I’m “still working.” (I viewed this situation as if God is not the one in control.) The game of comparison rears it’s ugly head, and it brings out the worst in me. I allowed it to affect my thoughts, mood, and responses. Have you ever felt the effects of this monster? We begin to assume others may have it so much easier since they don’t have X, Y, and Z to balance. But the truth is, we all have something. I wrestled with God over this frustration and thankfully, he didn’t let me live in this sin of comparison for too long.

The Blessings at Home

God walked me through a tough season and showed me exactly what I do have. He showed me that I am absolutely living in the blessings that I prayed for years ago. First of all, we have 3 beautiful, healthy children. My dream has first and foremost been to be a wife and mother. God has fulfilled those to the fullest. My cup overflows with gratitude just thinking about it.

No, we don’t have a farm house right now. But you know what? We have incredible neighbors that would do anything for us. Every inch of our yard has been used to create an oasis of a veggie garden. We have chickens in a suburban neighborhood! Sometimes I walk around and just grin ear to ear. I can’t believe how God has given me a mini farm right where we are. We have our small plot of land and are being diligent with what God has given us.

God reminded me of the simple things I had hoped for when we bought this house. Growing up, my grandparents had a dogwood tree, and I just loved it. An unspoken hope was that our house would have one. Low and behold, there is a beautiful dogwood in our backyard. I also thought a real wood burning fire place would be so neat- and guess what? Our house has one. There are so many examples like this.

We had hoped and prayed for a neighborhood that would be great to raise children in, and let me tell you, we hit the jackpot. We are living in the blessing. And I am soaking it up. We don’t have to wait for the farmhouse to actually live. How much greater is it to live with your eyes open looking for and acknowledging the blessings from God? (Versus wallowing in your view of your “have nots.”) I can say wholeheartedly that I am so content in where we are living because my eyes are on the blessings.

The Blessings in My Job

After I finally submitted my struggle with wanting to be home full time to the Lord, I could feel him beginning to remind me of my purpose. My job is my ministry along with my home. I am still working because God has me there, on PURPOSE. He is not done with me yet. It can be a very dark place, but it needs a light!

Time after time, God has allowed me to love on someone and share the Gospel in their most vulnerable times. What an honor to serve him in this capacity! Yes, it can be overwhelming, but it is so rewarding. I still have many days I wish I could “just be home.” I don’t hop out of bed when my alarm goes off and do a cartwheel that I get to go to work. It’s a choice I have to make every time to quite literally put on joy, thankfulness, and an expectant attitude to see what God has for that day. I consciously have to decide to be thankful and ask God to show me how he wants to use me, and also teach me through this.

My desire to honor my Savior and follow HIS plan is much greater than my desire to be home. So on the hard days, I have to go back to reminding myself that God has me there. When I start viewing it like this, I can actually find joy in the difficult.

This doesn’t mean that I have let go of the hope of one day being home full time and having farm land. Hope is a good thing. It keeps us going. And God wants us to come to him with our hopes and dreams. But ultimately, we must submit them to him. We want his will first, because that is always best. It’s also crucial to remember that if the answer is “no” to those hopes, he is still GOOD.

Walking in his will is always going to lead to blessings. And that is exactly where I want to be. So I pray that the Lord will change my desires if they do not line up with his, and also help me find contentment in the now. Open my eyes to the blessings I am currently living in.

Conclusion

So friend, if you are currently walking in a season of discontentment, I hope you will find comfort in knowing you aren’t alone. Are you still working and hoping to be home? Maybe you’re home and wishing for some sort of a work escape. Or you might be the precious mom longing for children and still waiting. Have you laid it down? Join with me in laying down your struggle at the foot of the cross. Knowing full well that HE sees you and hears your heart’s desires.

If you will ask him to change your desires to HIS, you will be in awe of how he changes your perspective. Psalm 37:4 reminds us to “take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” It doesn’t mean you’ll get everything you ever hoped for and wanted. It is a promise of a heart change if you align your will to his. That is true contentment. You are living in the blessing right now. You are surrounded by so much to be thankful for. Start counting them one by one.